By Jessica on Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 04:44 pm:

Hi Everyone,
i just wanted to give my opinion on the whole crying debate. Whilst I dont think it is ok to let a baby 'cry it out' I do feel that in some circumstances using versions of the controlled crying method is ok. I have a 5 month old boy who for the first 3 months of his life barely slept at all. This is not an exaggeration- he was awake for 16-20 hours straight most days and to get more than 7 hours sleep in a 24 hour period was a good day(remember he was a newborn). I like most of you was completely against any form of controlled crying and was adamant that I would practice attachment parenting, co-sleeping, babywearing etc.
When my beautiful baby boy was awake for such ridiculous lengths of time I would try everything- nursing him to sleep(he woke as soon as the nipple was taken out of his mouth)- co-sleeping( he has never fallen asleep in bed with us depite many attempts), rocking, patting, singing, massage, stroller, car, sling, baby carrier, baby swing- you name it I tried it over and over again. My baby simply could not fall asleep by him self or with any external help from me. And before someone suggests that he was being overstimulated by so many soothing techniniques, I gave each technique numerous days before realising that it wasn't going to work. My little angel was completely exhausted and I was at breaking point. I finally decided that something had to be done to help my baby get some sleep so had a residential stay at a sleep clinic. yes both my baby and I cried on and off for the first two nights, but on the third day he slept 19 hours and continued to do so for over a week. Now he is a happy and bright little baby who sleeps from 8pm- 5am with one or two feeds in between, and has 3 naps during the day. We rarely leave him in his cot upset and once he actually starts crying I get him, but I do leave him to protest when he goes to bed (He yells out and sounds cranky). He always falls asleep within 10 minutes. I did use controlled crying although I vowed I never would, but I feel as though we had no other option. We had been to day stay after day stay, read every book under the sun and employed those techniques(including Pinky's) but nothing seemed to work. He has never had reflux and was not diagnosed with any medical condition so I honestly feel as though I had to let my baby cry on and off with me going in to calm him every 10 minutes or so for 2 nights in order to help him. I feel as though not doing it would have been much more cruel than the two evenings he cried before falling asleep at around 10pm. I guess I am lucky that my baby responded so quickly, but I do feel that in some cases cc methods are required. I would have gladly breastfed my son to sleep every time, or co-slept, or baby wore but none of them worked- Heavens I would have driven him around for hours and hours in the car if it worked, just so my darling coudl get a few more than 6 hours sleep per day.
I am interested to hear your thoughts in such extreme cases as mine Pinky, when simply nothing else worked.
Regards Jessica.
Please note that I do not agree with CIO and I feel as though I used a more gentle method than others( that is once he starts actually crying, I go in and calm him, but I do let him yell out and protest.)

By Jessica on Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 04:55 pm:

OOps, I forgot to mention that I thoroughly enjoy your website Pinky and I think it is an invaluable resource for women with new babies. Also, my little one has just gone from 5-6 breastfeeds per day to 7-8, do you think he could be ready for a small amount of solids? His bowel movements have also gone from 1 per day to one every 6 days, then 13 days and we are up to 4 again now- is it becasue he is simply using all of my breastmilk? I love breastfeeding and hope to breastfeed well into his second year, but perhaps he needs a little something extra now?
Thanks.

By Amanda R on Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 09:13 pm:

Jessica, if it works then it is right. You have given everything you know a try and this works for you all. It doesn't sound like you let him cry till he is distressed which is what is cruel about CC. A bit of a protest is fine (I've let mine protest out of sheer laziness, too lazy to get up now, wait till they demand it lol), but when he insists that he needs you then you respond. That is the important thing that he doesn't feel abandoned.

Your words "Now he is a happy and bright little baby who sleeps from 8pm- 5am with one or two feeds in between, and has 3 naps during the day. We rarely leave him in his cot upset and once he actually starts crying I get him" - and I'll add 'Bonanza"! (perhaps Eureka is a little more patriotic).

Have confidence in your ability to be your baby's best Mum, you found what was needed - even if it does go against what you originally believed.

By Annette on Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 08:47 am:

Hi Jessica, I think you have done and tried everything possible and in the end result you have a perfect happy family. Which is what all the mothers on this forum want as well. Good on to you. You would most likely fine that most of the mothers if not all have used your way of CC. If they are protesting but not upset leave them a moment but if they are upset go to them. Congratulations on your beautiful happy family

By julie on Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 01:34 pm:

HI Jessica,i agree with the girls. You did what was right for you, but understand that every baby and every parent is different. We all do what's right for us. My sister in-law used to just let her baby cry it out. not saying i like that idea, but her baby has survived and sleeps all night. So i think it's fair to say we all deal with things differently. i tryed that idea too control crying but i had a very demanding little baby on my hands. your very lucky it worked for you. good luck jessica. cheers julie.